Posts Tagged ‘Bible Reading’

Our pastor has been preaching through the words of Jesus that he spoke on the cross. I haven’t written much about it in my journal. I have not really been there mentally or emotionally. I had looked forward to the series, but I’m just too burned out and past the point of tired to really be all there. Is it a simple case of burn out and fatigue, or have I become so distant from God that the crucifixion and the Resurrection have faded from my life? I haven’t read the Bible in ages. Heck, I still have a few chapters to go before I finish the Bible-in-a-year plan I started in January of 2010! And the delay is not because I have been in deep reflection of what I read. I just don’t read anymore. I have been reading other books, but not God’s word.

So, Resurrection Sunday will come and go and I won’t stop to reflect. Nice.

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The pastor ended the sermon focused on how God prepared Joshua for his new leadership position. In Exodus 33:11, God’s word says this,  “The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent.” So, even years before God was planning on promoting Joshua, he was preparing him, alone, in his presence. And when it was Joshua’s time to take the reins, God reminded him of what he considers success – “Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” (Joshua 1:7-8)

I came to the conclusion yesterday that I don’t meditate on God or his word day and night. Sometimes neither day nor night for that matter! My mind just goes wherever it wants. I’ll try to focus on God and his stuff, but all the sudden, minutes or hours later, I’ll wake up and realize my mind has gone off the track. I am reminded of a passage that used to mean something to me – “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. (Romans 15:4)”

My Bible reading has been non-existent for at least a week. I don’t even hunger or thirst for it. My mind is so preoccupied (is it because to face God’s word means to face the reality that I am not in his will with regards to my employment?). Whatever the reason, well there are no good reasons. Time with God. What if I lived as though that were the most important thing in my life?

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The Sunday sermon was on the topic of “influence.” Funny – the pastor was going to begin a series called “Plan B.” I was not really ready for the message because I didn’t want to think about how I have willfully made decisions out of God’s will. But I had misread the calendar and we had a guest speaker. Turns out I wasn’t eager to receive this sermon either.

The first point of discussion was about resolutions. I don’t make them but that is not the point of this blog. His point was that God has plenty of daily resolutions for us in his word, but we end up making our own anyway (sometimes quickly failing) without really consulting our Lord. Even when we make genuine resolutions meant to honor God, we forget that God has plenty of daily resolutions (and encouragements when we fail!) already laid out for us that should give us plenty of focus through the year.

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12)

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“The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.” (Proverbs 27:12)

This was the first passage of Scripture that reached my eyes today. I’ve seen it before – it is on one of our filing cabinets. It is also on our computer as a picture. I don’t know if I would have used this passage as my first post if it weren’t for the fact that yesterday the Mrs. and I were discussing writing down goals. My question was – am I really going to change the things necessary to change things or am I just going to go back to work and keep coming home tired and so on? It is a reasonable question.

2010 was interesting. Perhaps the most important was how amazing Bible reading was. I read chronologically for the first time and it was awesome! Other than Bible reading and reading more pages in more books than in previous years I don’t think I accomplished anything. It is true that at work God lets me talk/listen to individuals about God stuff. But other than those things I am a cacophony of mediocrity. As my friend asked me yesterday – am I miserable enough to make a change?

I don’t want to end last year or start this year with a cliche’ but I am going to have to do it — God is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too kind to me!

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