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Archive for March, 2007

“This is the one I esteem:
he who is humble and contrite in spirit,
and trembles at my word.” — God (Isaiah 66:2)

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48 Days – Day 11

It is past midnight now. I started writing tonight (the 29th) about 11:30-ish or so. So, Day 11 is actually the 29th. Anyway…
Had an incident today were I got a backhanded insult. Reminded me of people from my past who spoke fluent Christianese. So, when I got back to my room, I read March 29th’s [u]My Utmost [/u] and it read, “If you are avoiding the call of the religious thinking of today’s world, and instead are ‘looking unto Jesus’ ( Hebrews 12:2 ), setting your heart on what He wants, and thinking His thoughts, you will be considered impractical and a daydreamer.” “You should trust no one, and even ignore the finest saint on earth if he blocks your sight of Christ.” Hmmm…
We haven’t the slightest idea of WWJD.

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48 Days – Day 10

Did not write on the 28th, but [u]My Utmost[/u] was pretty cool! “Just because I don’t understand what Jesus Christ says, I have no right to determine that he must be mistaken in what he says.”
“I know when the instructions have come from God because of their quiet persistence. But when I begin to weigh the pros and cons, and doubt and debate enter into my mind, I am bringing in an element that is not of God.”
“Many of us are faithful to our ideas about Jesus Christ, but how many of us are faithful to Jesus himself? Faithfulness to Jesus means that I must step out even when and where I can’t see anything. But faithfulness to my own ideas means that I first clear the way mentally. Faith, however, is not intellectual understanding; faith is a deliberate commitment to the Person of Jesus Christ, even when I can’t see the way ahead.
Are you debating whether you should take a step of faith in Jesus, or whether you should wait until you can clearly see how to do what He has asked? Simply obey Him with unrestrained joy. When He tells you something and you begin to debate, it is because you have a misunderstanding of what honors Him and what doesn?t. Are you faithful to Jesus, or faithful to your ideas about Him? Are you faithful to what He says, or are you trying to compromise His words with thoughts that never came from Him?” WOW!!!

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48 Days – Day 9

On Tuesday the 27th I was proctoring an Acheivement Test for 7th graders. I went to bed at 2:30 Tuesday morning. Monday night was weird. Fell asleep watching TV, had a migraine. went to bed at 10, got out of bed at 10:50 wide awake. Played MLB 2005 instead of focusing on God’s stuff. It takes my mind off work.
The Psalm reading for the 27th was Psalm 87 and it was talking about God writing people’s names down in the register of Zion and part of today’s [u]My Utmost[/u] was about God revealing himself to Abraham. The more I learn about God the less I know about him but the more I sense how helpless I am without his grace. Pretty much all I have that is secure is that I am helpless without grace. My hope is in his kindness. My name is registered in God’s book and that is where my adopted Father will keep it under lock and key.
I think what I like best about the 27th’s [u]My Utmost[/u] is the part about how Satan uses our desire for holiness that is flesh-based and beyond our reach. God, how many times have I felt like a loser and a failure because of goals I have set for holiness that don’t match your desires?

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48 Days – Day 8

On the 26th (Monday), I SO did not want to have a QT. I was SO hungry. God did give me some cool [u]My Utmost [/u] readings to think about.
My Utmost for the 22nd of March still blows me away. I had my classes listen to it on Monday as a student read to them.
I feel that my days may become dreary if I don’t remember all the things God has given me during these days. Getting up in the morning is becoming a challenge. If I don’t learn from the past as I deal with this situation of losing “my” ministry, I am a fool.

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48 Days – Days 5 thru 7

Didn’t journal days 5 thru 7. I did my readings Friday and Saturday, but not Sunday.

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48 Days – Day 4

Haven’t wrritten in over a week have I?
So, I was dreading one class in particular on the 22nd. It is a class with a handful of mockers and slanderers. What is worse is that they have their parents fooled. It was so bad that I did not eat dinner the night before nor breakfast the morning of the 22nd. I was going to skip my QT, but…
“Coincidently,” [u]My Utmost [/u] reading for the 22nd was exactly what I needed to hear. My heart does get smothered by certain types of behavior. I think it is because my hope is in everyone happily doing what I say. So when there is conflict and negativity, I get crushed.
The second paragraph of the 22nd’s [u]My Utmost [/u] is also amazing. It brings home the source of my issues and confirms my deepest beliefs.
The connection between the calling of my heart in Psalm 82:3-4 and [u]My Utmost[/u] on the 22nd of March is amazing. God, I wish I had more courage to listen to you. The phrase “let the consequences be what they may” from this reading is something that is absent from my life but which I desperately want to learn.

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48 Days – Day 3

I chose to not make time for a quiet time today. I scanned it once, but never got back to it. Hopefully tonight. But I had to write. A manipulative parent emailed me because she jumped to conclusions based on a one-sided, not even accurate complaint be her child. So, I wrote back. It took me awhile because I wanted to make sure I said things correctly and appropriately. She emailed back almost immediately. I saw the name come up and my heart started pounding. My physical, emotional, mental state made a noticably instant shift! I didn’t read it. Maybe tomorrow. I spent the remander of the time emailing parents encouraging notes about their children. Man, it felt great! My physical, emotional, mental state made a noticably instant shift! A cheerful heart brings health to the bones. PS – Dear Apostle Paul, I’m not so sure I want to join in with you on the fellowship of the Lord’s suffering.

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48 Days – Day 2

I was really happy today about what we did in my 8th grade classes. We began with a journal exercise where we had to write about why we don’t read the Bible more than we do. Then we moved into finishing our Colossians study. There were some good life lessons. The best question of the day was. “What do we do when we’ve been in church our entire lives and think we’ve read it all?” What an honest question! I had no easy answer but I know the feeling.
“Think of the last thing you prayed about-were you devoted to your desire or to God? Was your determination to get some gift of the Spirit for yourself or to get to God? ‘For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him’ ( Matthew 6:8 ). The reason for asking is so you may get to know God better.” So I read this in My Utmost today and then I read Psalm 80. I read the Psalm four times before something clicked but it was about Messianic Prophecies and not my situation. And then… Duh! I realized I was looking to “get something out of it” and not looking to get to know God better.
Sometimes I imagine God getting a great deal of joy trying to teach me things!

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48 Days – Day 1

Today was the first day of the last quarter (48 days long). It would behove me to make sure I invest time reading, writing and listening so that I do not get discouraged about having to leave.

Last week was Spring Break. I was sick all week. Thank you God for keeping me well for so long and for timing things that would allow me to sleep and not worry about classes.

I allowed the students to choose their own seats today. I didn’t see any ugliness towards anybody and I am grateful for that. I thought the day went well. I was excited about my plans and I delievered them confidently. We took prayer requests and prayed together. 8th grade classes learned about four questions we can ask anybody to whom we witness in order to keep the conversation under our control and avoid rabbit trails or deception. Then we began our discussion on worldviews by looking at the competing worldviews in Colossians and how God wanted his followers to deal with them. 7th grade classes prayed together and then we reviewed for a test.

God, how will I make it to the end of the quarter? How will I do day by day, period by period? God, I would like to pray for ease, cooperation and humility by others, but I need to listen to your wishes and look at each problem or heartbreak as character training.

What bothers me most is the parents who tell (directly and indirectly) their kids that me and my rules don’t matter. For a parent to put their kid in a position to treat me with disrespect or contempt is a sin on the parents’ part. By the way “coincidently” the Psalm I read today (79) said this, “Help us, O God our Savior, for the glory of your name; deliver us and forgive our sins for your name’s sake.” Tell me God’s timing isn’t amazing!

At the beginning of one of the periods today, a young lady asked (again) if what we were going to do today is “fun.” That really hurts. To me, it insults me. It is a statement that brings my doubts and struggles up in my face and it causes me to stagger.

I began reading My Utmost this morning and read it several times today. “Faith is rooted in the knowledge of a Person, and one of the biggest traps we fall into is the belief that if we have faith, God will surely lead us to success in the world.” Tell me God’s timing isn’t amazing! God, I try to tell folks that the more we know you (the real you), then the more we will be secure no matter what you have us do and no matter if we can see your hand or not. We are to trust and love you just because you are you, not because of what you can do for us. I wish I would take my own advice.

“A life of faith is not a life of one glorious mountaintop experience after another, like soaring on eagles’ wings, but is a life of day-in and day-out consistency; a life of walking without fainting (see Isaiah 40:31).” Tell me God’s timing isn’t amazing!

“Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.” (Romans 4:3)

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