Archive for March, 2007

“This is the one I esteem:
he who is humble and contrite in spirit,
and trembles at my word.” — God (Isaiah 66:2)


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48 Days – Day 11

It is past midnight now. I started writing tonight (the 29th) about 11:30-ish or so. So, Day 11 is actually the 29th. Anyway…
Had an incident today were I got a backhanded insult. Reminded me of people from my past who spoke fluent Christianese. So, when I got back to my room, I read March 29th’s [u]My Utmost [/u] and it read, “If you are avoiding the call of the religious thinking of today’s world, and instead are ‘looking unto Jesus’ ( Hebrews 12:2 ), setting your heart on what He wants, and thinking His thoughts, you will be considered impractical and a daydreamer.” “You should trust no one, and even ignore the finest saint on earth if he blocks your sight of Christ.” Hmmm…
We haven’t the slightest idea of WWJD.

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48 Days – Day 10

Did not write on the 28th, but [u]My Utmost[/u] was pretty cool! “Just because I don’t understand what Jesus Christ says, I have no right to determine that he must be mistaken in what he says.”
“I know when the instructions have come from God because of their quiet persistence. But when I begin to weigh the pros and cons, and doubt and debate enter into my mind, I am bringing in an element that is not of God.”
“Many of us are faithful to our ideas about Jesus Christ, but how many of us are faithful to Jesus himself? Faithfulness to Jesus means that I must step out even when and where I can’t see anything. But faithfulness to my own ideas means that I first clear the way mentally. Faith, however, is not intellectual understanding; faith is a deliberate commitment to the Person of Jesus Christ, even when I can’t see the way ahead.
Are you debating whether you should take a step of faith in Jesus, or whether you should wait until you can clearly see how to do what He has asked? Simply obey Him with unrestrained joy. When He tells you something and you begin to debate, it is because you have a misunderstanding of what honors Him and what doesn?t. Are you faithful to Jesus, or faithful to your ideas about Him? Are you faithful to what He says, or are you trying to compromise His words with thoughts that never came from Him?” WOW!!!

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48 Days – Day 9

On Tuesday the 27th I was proctoring an Acheivement Test for 7th graders. I went to bed at 2:30 Tuesday morning. Monday night was weird. Fell asleep watching TV, had a migraine. went to bed at 10, got out of bed at 10:50 wide awake. Played MLB 2005 instead of focusing on God’s stuff. It takes my mind off work.
The Psalm reading for the 27th was Psalm 87 and it was talking about God writing people’s names down in the register of Zion and part of today’s [u]My Utmost[/u] was about God revealing himself to Abraham. The more I learn about God the less I know about him but the more I sense how helpless I am without his grace. Pretty much all I have that is secure is that I am helpless without grace. My hope is in his kindness. My name is registered in God’s book and that is where my adopted Father will keep it under lock and key.
I think what I like best about the 27th’s [u]My Utmost[/u] is the part about how Satan uses our desire for holiness that is flesh-based and beyond our reach. God, how many times have I felt like a loser and a failure because of goals I have set for holiness that don’t match your desires?

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48 Days – Day 8

On the 26th (Monday), I SO did not want to have a QT. I was SO hungry. God did give me some cool [u]My Utmost [/u] readings to think about.
My Utmost for the 22nd of March still blows me away. I had my classes listen to it on Monday as a student read to them.
I feel that my days may become dreary if I don’t remember all the things God has given me during these days. Getting up in the morning is becoming a challenge. If I don’t learn from the past as I deal with this situation of losing “my” ministry, I am a fool.

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48 Days – Days 5 thru 7

Didn’t journal days 5 thru 7. I did my readings Friday and Saturday, but not Sunday.

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48 Days – Day 4

Haven’t wrritten in over a week have I?
So, I was dreading one class in particular on the 22nd. It is a class with a handful of mockers and slanderers. What is worse is that they have their parents fooled. It was so bad that I did not eat dinner the night before nor breakfast the morning of the 22nd. I was going to skip my QT, but…
“Coincidently,” [u]My Utmost [/u] reading for the 22nd was exactly what I needed to hear. My heart does get smothered by certain types of behavior. I think it is because my hope is in everyone happily doing what I say. So when there is conflict and negativity, I get crushed.
The second paragraph of the 22nd’s [u]My Utmost [/u] is also amazing. It brings home the source of my issues and confirms my deepest beliefs.
The connection between the calling of my heart in Psalm 82:3-4 and [u]My Utmost[/u] on the 22nd of March is amazing. God, I wish I had more courage to listen to you. The phrase “let the consequences be what they may” from this reading is something that is absent from my life but which I desperately want to learn.

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